destroying the world

http://ned.ucam.org/~sdh31/misc/destroy.html

oh my gosh, don't let the terrorists read this!!

man, I'm young as balls

http://www.exploratorium.edu/ronh/age/

throw your birthday in and see how old you are on other planets...

last minute thought while still procrastinating

Instead of 6 degrees of separation with Kevin Bacon, We should start are own Minnesota Games during Road Trips such as:

2 degrees of separation of a Best Buy Corporate Employee
2 degrees of separation of a Target Corporate Employee
3 degrees of separation of a 3M Corporate Employee
3 degrees of separation of a General Motors Corporate Employee
2 degrees of separation of a Marshall Fields Corporate Employee
2 degrees of separation of a Land O'Lakes Corporate Employee
2 degrees of separation of a Medtronic Corporate Employee
4 degrees of separation of a Toro Corporate Employee
4 degrees of separation of a Holiday Gas Station/Gander Mt. Employee
3 degrees of separation of a Cargill Employee
15 degrees of separation of a Rainforest Cafe Employee - advanced level
7 degrees of separation of a Davanni's Corporate Employee
9 degrees of separation of a Polaris Corporate Employee

ok I'm done, but there are so many more... sounds awesome right? Fine, I'll get back to work, just had to get that out my system...

Who do you think you are?

You must be out of your mind to expect me to fly across the country to Providence, Rhode Island for a 15 minute meeting!!!

How the hell do you get the balls to ask that of your vendors? You already buy a lot from me. This is a crock O' Shat balls.
um, let me see, short notice ticket...$550.00 plus tax, starting @ 10:45am, stopping in Chi-town Midway for 2 hours, then landing @ 5pm East Coast Rhode Island Baby.
So, I'm wasting an entire day in the air, wasting a night by myself in a cheap hotel and renting an in-room video of some lame romantic tale or high powered muscle adventure that will put me asleep by 9:30pm.
Then, wake up, get to the convention center by 9am for my 9:15am meeting. Your only allotted 15 minutes time, so I'm outta there by 9:30am and off to the airport for an 11am flight home, which I get back to Minneapolis @ 4pm, another wasted day in the air. Plus, there are talks my airline is going on strike, (ATA, not NWA). Sweet Dude.

So, all I have to say to all this bullshit, is thanks a whole hell of a lot for your generous time and love and swallowing 48 hours of my life, along with taking $750.00 from me for 15 minutes of "buy my shit please".

Oh, and if you want to buy a lot of my shit, I love you CVS Pharmacy, I do, and it was worth every hour and penny, but if you don't buy my shit, this trip will suck even more and I'll hate you until next year, when I'll be asked to do the same thing again.

P.S. - because of you I'm at the office the night before at 10:45pm getting all the reports and materials ready but procrastinating with this damn blog.

Potay - Toe Pota-Tow

http://platinumchromatography.com/potato.htm

we got into some fun up on the North Shore this past weekend. I recommend this to anyone with nothing better to do then to waist a full bag of yams and create a feeding frenzy for the local bird community...

I would say that www.spudtech.com is only for people with HALO Addictions.. eat your heart out kids

sounds like....?

I'm assuming your sense of humor is as stupid and childish as mine, so enjoy!
http://www.big-boys.com/articles/mikehawk.html

Homework To Do

I'll be venturing over to the land of the free, home of the wierd as hell, and slave to the temple... yep, das right, you guessed it, I'm off to Salt Lake City, Utah, known to us midwest folk as "what the fu#$ is wrong with that city"

I do have a mission, and it is clear. I am studying their culture (how religion can produce enough money to purchase an entire US City), but most importantly though, I'll be studying hard on their marriage laws. I'll be sure to bring back a jam packed thorough report on my research, so us male folk have an idea of how to get this multiple wives thing going...

On a different note, if you knew someone that was over 30 yrs old and they slept in a bedroom closet during thunderstorms because they were scared of the thunderstorm, would you address them as your sister, or would you say, "fuck it, I don't need to have you in my family, I'm outta here."

AC/DC

so yeah, cool tee-shirt I found while pissing and moaning about my shipment this morning...

Sweet Dude

Have you ever purchased a gift for someone for hmmm, lets say for over $40,000.00 from overseas, had them Air Freight for $7,000 more then it normally costs, so you could get it early enough to avoid problems getting it to the person you want to give it to on time, where putting it on a boat would have caused it to be late, but then, out of nowhere, once your gift arrives 10 miles from your location, it is confiscated until after January 1st due to gov't quota only because your broker sat on it for two days before filing the paperwork? Sweet Dude, it just happened to me so now when I give the gift, it'll be that much more damn exciting. Oh wait, I forgot to tell you, that the gift that was purchased has a cancel date if its not given to my gift-reciever by August 31st, which means THIS SUCKS

YES, PLEASE

So my co-worker rosen rosen always asks me moments after he sends an email to me "did you get that email I sent you" as if this is new technology and he's just trying to figure it out for us...

Drivers, if you can't murge onto a highway without coming to a complete stop, I don't need you to exist, I'm trying to save gas mileage on my beast SUV and you are coming to a complete stop? FUCK YOU!

If all women stopped driving, and all peoples that have lost the ability to orgasm stop driving, there would be no traffic jams...